What was your biggest fear about going natural? Was it realized once you finally chopped or completed your transition? What would you have told yourself one, three, six months ago that you know now? Finally, what words of wisdom do you have for others who are afraid to take that step to natural?
I was afraid of the afro: both how it would look and how others would not approve. I remember my Aunt who is like a 2b pressuring me to go natural and thinking, she doesn't have hair like me, she doesn't know what it is like and how one is treated for having afro textured hair. I also remember being afraid of having short hair. A few years passed and I got to the point where I could care less what people thought. I'm becoming fear less. Now 2.5 years post BC it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore but I do stress a little about job interviews.
ReplyDeleteWell, I've been natural 3 years now and my greatest fear was having short hair, which is why I transitioned as opposed to the BC. Looking back, I wish I had just BC'ed because the war between the textures was hell on my hair health.
ReplyDeleteI went natural more than 10 years ago, and my biggest fear then was that I would not look feminine. I was a very young woman then and was very apprehensive about this. I was also worried that the drastic change -- from shoulder-length permed hair to a 1/2-inch fro -- would lead people to wonder if something was "wrong" with me. Honestly, those feelings lasted for at least a few months after I BC'ed, but I guess the freedom of being natural outweighed my fears and concerns.
ReplyDeleteTo new naturals who are struggling with these types of feelings, ESPECIALLY if you plan to BC or make a drastic change, (1) confidence is key to making your new look YOURS, and (2) be ready for a rush of feelings. It's exciting and scary all at the same time, but in the end, if you do it for the right reasons (whatever "right" means for you), it's worth it and will help you push past the doubts you may have both before and after you chop.
My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to pull it off. I had "Black girl" long hair (past my shoulders) most of my life and the shortest my hair had ever been was chin length and bobbed. Fortunately, I fell in love with myself after the chop. I transitioned for 8 months and had about 5 inches of hair. I've been natural now for a year+ and would tell myself there was nothing to fear. I tell transitioners and those considering the natural life to go at their own pace, but that the water's fine over here!
ReplyDeleteMy biggest words of wisdom for new naturals is to not be afraid of finding you. Of knowing yourself. I found that with going natural, came a lot of self discovery. So don't be afraid of what comes, just embrace it. Also, that there is always a hater, so get used to peoples slick comments.
ReplyDeleteJay.
www.jayswonderland.blogspot.com
Well said, Lady J. I've been natural for about a year now and gradually snipped until all the perm was gone. This helped me and prevented me from the big chop.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I am happier than ever and feel very much like I found "me".
It was an inner battle for a while because I am a pastor's wife of a large church. At first, I was fearful of how the congregation would take it. After some transition, they love it and more women are also going natural.
If I played a role in a sista coming to "herself", then praise God, cuz that's what it's all about.
I love the variety of natural. When my life calls for conservative, I pin it back with a phony pony or a bun. Lots of options.
Here's to finding "you" aside from who others think you are or want you to be.
Teri
Check out my version of a fro at GodsyGirl.Com
To boot, I'm
I had been natural for a while, then rocked locs for 4 years. When I cut them off, my biggest fear was not being able to pull off a very short hairstyle. But I did, and as my hair grows, I love it more and more.
ReplyDeleteAll really good questions...
ReplyDelete1. It's been a very long time, but I do remember being SO fed up with my relaxed hair that I really didn't give it much thought, so I can't say I was really afraid about it. To me it was the key to the door of hair independence...I didn't care what it looked like, I just wanted the relaxed hair GONE. (I don't recommend this BTW...)
2. My freakout moment came AFTER I did the BC and saw myself in the mirror with 1/2" of hair. I wasn't really prepared for that! But I faked it (liking it) until I made it (about a week later).
3. Can't answer that question really...
4. My advice to others is this: Give yourself and your hair a real chance to get to know each other. There is a learning curve involved, both physically (styling, etc.) and mentally. I don't care how tight and kinky and "bad" you think your natural hair is...it too can be beautiful and manageable (hate that word) and it can be this way AS IT IS. And if it ends up still being too much of a struggle, there's no shame in going back to the perm until you're ready to try it again.