Photo CreditI love looking around You Tube to get hair inspiration. Lately I have been looking for different versions of mini braids, kind of like the ones I had a last year, to wear to Cancun. I didn't want to spend money getting them done again and I was looking for other natural ladies who did mini braids themselves.
One channel I found featured a young woman who had recently put in a set of pixie braids on her short natural hair. I remember thinking how beautiful she is and how well the style suited her face. I kept watching the video over and over, partly because her hair was amazing (and I wish I had tried that when my hair was that length) and partly because I just though the colors of her scarf, earrings and skin looked so rich together.
So, a few days ago, I go back to her channel to see more of her videos and to hopefully see more cute styles. Imagine my surprise when the first video I see, the woman on the screen is sporting a straight, flipped do. It was very cute but clearly not "natural"! At first I thought, oh so it looks like she straightened it out for a change or a length check or whatever. Then, I pressed play and realized what I should have surmised from the title! It clearly says Natural to Relaxed.
Now, I know plenty of women go natural then go back to relaxing their hair. Happens all the time. Some of you probably have done the same at some point. I guess what surprised me the most was that she felt her relaxed hair was easier. Don't get me wrong, I have heard that same sentiment expressed from countless other natural-back to relaxed folks. That is usually followed by naturals who condemn or try to make the person feel like they just didn't give it enough time or they were somehow complicating it for themselves. I mean, who are we to judge another person's lifestyle, routine, time management, etc? Sometimes, usually when I'm detangling, I feel like my hair is a lot of work too! I don't believe that relaxing would ever be an option for me again but I see that it is for other women.
So my questions are for you all. First, do you ever feel like your hair is more work now than when you were natural? Second, are there any ladies out there who are currently relaxed or who locked to get away from dealing with a bunch of loose natural hair?
Side note: Still in Cancun. It's LOVELY! If you've never done an all-inclusive before, put it on your list! I will share some pics when I get back and internet is limited here so I might not get to moderate all your comments/answer emails immediately. But I will get to them as I can so please don't stop sharing your thoughts.
Sure, sometimes I feel like taking care of my natural hair is a lot of work. That's because I like to look presentable and I take pride in my appearance. When I was relaxed, I put the same amount of effort into my haircare maintenance. The difference, however, is that now that I am natural, I have so many more options than I did when I was relaxed. I wouldn't give that up no matter how much work it takes!
ReplyDeleteNatural hair is way more easier for me. When i was relaxed i had to worry about getting a touch up and wondering if i had the money for it. Then when i began to wear sew ins i had to worry even more about where the money was coming from to get my hair done. It was too much of a burden, natural hair for me= a carefree lifestyle for my hair.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in this discussion too, for future reference. I am newly natural and BC'ed, I don't have to do anything to my hair to style it yet.
ReplyDeleteNatural hair isn't for everyone. She gave it a try, decided it wasn't for her, and now she's made a VERY informed decision to relax again.
ReplyDeleteYour hair is only as time consuming as you allow it to be. If you're like me, you really don't always feel like doing much with your hair. On top of that, I'm muslim, so I get my hair wet pretty often throughout the day. I live almost exclusively in buns/ wash-n-go's. On the rare occasion I feel like braiding it or twisting it, I'll do so, but I promise it's not so often.
We've each got a different path to travel on our journey in life. If she likes it, more power to her! It's her hair, her time, and her life. Who are we (people in general) to dictate to her how she should wear her hair?
My hair is definitely a lot of work in terms of detangling and washing, but when it comes to styling its just time consuming. It takes a while for me to style my hair, but its the same amount of time (maybe shorter) than when I went to the salon and got it styled.
ReplyDeleteBut I have been able to deal with it for a year now, so I am gonna keep on trucking it. I understand where she was coming from though, sometimes there are days when I do not want to do my hair at all. And sometimes, even though I am ashamed of it, I do go out looking pretty messed up. But those days are few and far between. I am a relatively patient person to begin with. I think that once my hair gets longer I may loc, but I am not sure yet.
The only time it feels like too much work is when I have trouble detangling, usually after doing a wash n go which is why I rarely do those now that my hair is past 10 inches long. Most of the time I wash my hair once a week, then braid or twist. I unbraid the next day and rock a twist out all week. So styling time probably takes the same or less as blow drying and flat ironing. Plus I can braid my hair while watching tv but blow drying had to be done standing up in front of a mirror. When I still had a TWA it was the fastest styling time ever.
ReplyDeleteSome people just like the way straight hair looks but not me it is the same amount of work to style long hair.
I think that the up keep on both are hard work. When I wore my hair relaxed I kept it in a short cut. So I was waking up every morning to style it and going to the salon every week to get the back cut, and regularly keeping up with touch ups. With my natural hair for me it is the same. I have to get up and do something to it, and at night do something to it. It doesn't just fall into place. Granted putting on some oil and combing out beats plugging in a curling iron. But for good looking hair you put in work for both textures.
ReplyDeleteI think my natural hair is easier to handle than my relaxed hair. I put in the same amount of time with my natural hair that I did when it was relaxed, but I also take better care of it now. I deep condition every week, and use better products because I'm more educated about hair. I also transistioned my daughter's hair from relaxed to natural. At times, I do feel like it's too much work to do BOTH of our hair, especially when detangling. It's definitely time consuming, but her hair is also much healthier. It could be because, like I said earlier, I'm more aware of the right products etc, or it could be because the relaxer was damaging to her hair. I'm not sure, but I'm so happy I made the decision to go natural.
ReplyDeleteI wish every African American woman would try it at least once because a lot of times, as I was, we are unaware of how beautiful our hair can be; however, if the person doesn't feel she can handle being natural, I think that's okay too.
It's funny I came across this tonight. My best friend is talking about going back to relaxers because she thinks it'll be easier. I haven't tried to talk her out of it or be a 'natural Nazi' -- but I do remember what her relaxed hair was like and it wasn't pretty :( She tends to stay under wigs though, so I don't understand the rush to go back to the creamy crack. She's never been one to take care of her hair though, she's the type who comes home and falls into bed without a thought to spritzing it or tying it up in satin for the night -- relaxed or natural.
ReplyDeleteLike other posters, I will probably remain natural because I don't want to worry about having to pay for relaxers and maintenance (for what I spent on relaxing and maintaining my hair, I could buy enough of my favorite online products to last for years!) I don't worry about getting it wet either. I also like being able to wash my hair whenever I feel like it and knowing that it smells like my sweet, citrusy conditioner and not a mix of grime, grit and hair grease. The other major factor for me is not worrying about contributing to thinning out my hair and destroying follicles anymore with harsh chemicals. I'd like to still have hair on my head when I'm 40.
I think I have an easier time now with my natural hair. When I wore my hair straight I had to be concerned with every strand lookin perfect & smooth. I can understand though when women have trouble with natural hair. I think there are so many different ways to take care of it that it can be intimidating and can become overwhelming. I am lazy too so I try to do the simplest things that look nicest. I guess I was used to doing my own relaxed hair too so doing my natural hair myself hasn't been a big deal.
ReplyDeletehm. the time i spend detangling is no where near the time i spent blow drying and flat ironing my hair when i was relaxed. i don't even have to style my natural hair (unless you count fluffing it out as a style) & when i do, it definitely doesn't take as long as it would to get my relaxed hair straight.
ReplyDeleteFor me, natural hair is easier, in that I don't worry about it as much. Hair is stressful enough, without having to counter attack the harmful effects of a relaxer as well.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'm both lazy/busy. So doing my hair can wind up becoming a chore. Seeing as I'm busy, it means I rarely have time to prep for my hair, and if I don't prep, styles never come out right (especially those that need time to dry). Also, I have to set time aside for de-tangling properly! So it means I have to think a bit more about my hair, but that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's helping me become more organised!
I'm relaxed... after being natural for nearly 15 years. Why? Because *my* natural hair requires a lot of work and consequently a LOT of time. After getting married and having a child, I could no longer justify spending so much time on my hair. Will I go natural again one day? Probably, most likely. But right now, relaxed hair is more manageable and requires significantly less time for me. Many are quick to say, just do twists or rock buns, etc, etc and the truth is that EVERY style takes a long time for me to achieve while natural... my hair is extremely thick and quite long. For me, relaxed hair saves me $$ and time (I'm a DIY'er). I refer to myself as a relaxed/ *pseudo natural* girl ;) because I rock textured styles (usually braid outs) 95+% of time. I still frequent natural hair blogs and generally prefer the look of textured hair over straight hair. So to answer your original question, YES, my natural hair [was] too much work for me at this point in my life. My choice to relax is purely a lifestyle choice. Hope this provides a different perspective. Best! <3 ;)
ReplyDeleteMy hair has indeed felt like it was too much work on numerous occasions, but I have never longed to go back to a relaxer. I have extremely thick hair. I have thought (on my weekly wash days while detangling) of cutting it off and finally being free! Well after a year of growth, I cut it short. I loved the freedom of short hair and was estatic for about 2 weeks. Then a crazy thing happened. I started to miss my hair! Now I am growing it back. This time around, I will be more patient with it, and try to get it professionally done maybe once a month. That might help me. However, I don't have the desire to relax it again.
ReplyDeleteI am natural, have a head full of hair and in the midst of detangling and washing I think its a lot of work, I wash bi-weekly knowing this. I style weekly or bi-weekly. When I was relaxed I styled daily, it almost never looked like I wanted it and my hair was Gobi desert dry and damage. I think its a trade off and very personal. As Irendi said, she made an informed decision that's more than most.
ReplyDeleteNatural is SO much work, SO expensive and SO time consuming!! I've considered getting a perm at least once a week for the last 16 months! LOL! The only benefit I can see is that I don't have to worry about swimming, rain and exercise. The expense is CRAZY!! I live in Atlanta and some of the salons want to charge an arm and a leg for the smallest things (i.e. trimming aka "shaping" $60) Long gone are the days where I can roll, dry, and wrap my hair...sigh. I've always done my own hair and doing my hair vs doing my hair natural is crazy. It takes me at least an extra hour to do my hair and that's not even including dring time. Natural hair pretty much blows.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually going through this now. Yes, my relaxed hair kept me in the salon regularly, but once I came out of the salon, I didn't have to worry about it. I could wrap it with a scarf and look fine the next day. Day to day, my natural hair is way more work. I love it and I love being able to do my hair myself, but lately, it just seems very exhausting. I have a very long schedule because I work full-time and go to school full time and I absolutely do not have the time to sit and twist and detangle my hair. I'm not saying that I'm ready to relax it just yet. (It has been three years natural after my second big chop.) But I will say that I have been considering it more and more lately. I miss being able to put my hair in a ponytail or quick bun and keep going.
ReplyDelete~Joey
When my hair style is a week old and I remember the days when I could easily whip my hair back into a pony tail and go, and then I look at the fro-ed curls and kinks that will scoff at a comb, on the top of my head, I feel like, relaxers are easier. Then I take my mane to the shower, and wash and detangle and fall in love with it all over again. In some ways, relaxed hair is easier (i.e. ability to quickly put it in a pony or comb it) and in some ways, natural hair is easier (i.e. wash and goes, no need to stay away from water, etc). at the end of the day, maintaining healthy hair, whether relaxed or natural is WORK. and if relaxed suits your life better, by all means, do what works best. But whats makes me disheartened is when individuals who were natural relax b/c they think they look more elegant/put together/chic relaxed. THAT is upsetting to me. (not saying this is the case for the youtube female) Maybe partly b/c I have my days where I too think I looked sexy with my slick jet black hair. I still have a ways to go in my thinking. Relaxed hair has been all I’ve known for the majority of my life. It takes awhile to find the beauty in another look. but i have been natural for a little over a year and work or no, i don't see myself going backt to relaxed any time soon. her pixie braids were super cute!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's too much work. The only real difference is it takes me about 15 minutes to re-do my flat twists before bed, as opposed to wrapping it in about one-fifth of the time. The other day my little sister asked me if I get annoyed with having to twist my hair all the time. Nope. I'd rather take the time to twist my thick hair than wrap hair that I think shouldn't even be on my head.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely more work for me to be natural, but that's because I was horrible to my hair when it was relaxed. I wouldn't even wrap it up at night! Now I take the time to deep condition, cowash, detangle, etc. I have my days when I wonder if I could go back to relaxed armed with all of this hair information and have healthy hair I'm scared to try, but I like having it as an option down the line.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that going natural and maintaining the natural hair is complicated and requires patience. Yet, so are most things. I have pretty thick hair so as most of the ladies mentioned already the detangling is the brunt of the work. Yet, the rewards are greater than when you get your hair relaxed and professionally done. For 1), my hair is much healthier,2) I feel more pride in exhibiting who I really am and 3) it allows you some "me" time to just take care of yourself! I don't knock sistas that wanna the fried, dyed, laid 2 the side look but I've realized that I was just as anal about my hair when it was relaxed like I am now.
ReplyDeleteHey Leslie. I'm a current transitioner (going on 6 months in). I decided to go natural back in April when I decided that I was TIRED of being ASHAMED of my new growth. (I was one of those who relaxed her hair to fit in with the straighter-textured women of america.) It took me a while to fall in love with the pen-spring coils that are growing from my head... but I did.
ReplyDeleteJust recently, though, I straightened my hair. I remember complaining that my transitioning do is easier (i wear a phony pony bun) b/c my straight hair wouldnt always lay right.
Later that week, when I decided to do my first ever cowash on my transitioning hair, I kinda missed how pretty my straight hair looked. I began to get angry with Karma and her Karmenettes (that's my hair) for being so hard to comb through. Then it shrunk up SO fast. It began to look unmanagable to me.
I can actually say that I thought about relaxing my hair... maybe using this period to "stretch" my relaxers. I could still use protective styles and make my goal of healthier longer hair. But I'm gonna stick with it.
Just today my mom (who was against me going natural at first) told me that my hair was pretty (as she ran her hand across my slick backed style). Then we both admired a woman in Wally World with a GORGEOUS twist out. I decided then that I'm gonna stick to this. I can always straighten my hair the way I did last time if I start to miss straight hair. But I know my reasons for doing this and would hate to regret relaxing and have to start over later.
Sorry this was such a long comment. This post just really hit home.
When my hair was relaxed, I threw it back into a style (ponytail/bun/brushed it back and put on a hairband) - so it did not take very long to style. Upkeep was expensive and time consuming when permed. How long did I have to sit in a salon? As long as it takes for me to DC.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy doing my hair now that I am natural, so I guess I do not feel l like it is as time consuming, if that makes sense.
Also - I am all about protective styles 5-6 days out of the week, so it takes no time to pin my 2 strands into a cute style.
So - I guess it is time consuming on both sides. But much more enjoyable on the natural side (for me)
I think that my natural hair regimen definitely requires more from me than my hair straightened did. But that's what I love about my hair! When my hair was straightened the health, regimen, and style of my hair was in the hands of my hair stylist. Going natural is me taking control of my hair, not allowing me to hid behind my hair (I BC'd), and not being dependent on damaging heat.
ReplyDeleteI think natural hair is cheaper but it isn't easier. wash and go's are easy, but when it comes to taking care of your hair, i spend a lot of time twisting, combing, washing etc my hair.
ReplyDeleteI love it, but it is time consuming. as anything you care about normally is.
-Doingitcoffeesway.blogspot.com
My natural hair is way easier! The only time consuming part is detangling. My hair is very porous and absorbs any moisture in the atmosphere and poofs, so wearing it straight is complicated whether natural or relaxed. Also, I tend to like to rinse my scalp fairly regularly. I prefer styling my curly hair because it always looks full and lush, whereas when I had a relaxer I always wanted it to look thicker and would add pieces. Now I can get exactly the look I want with little effort and only the hair that grows out of my scalp!
ReplyDeleteMy hair is natural now and it has been for most of my life. I have always had long, fast growing, and thick hair except when I permed it. Perms caused my hair to break especially in the back leaving the top part much longer. Now I wear my naturally curly, back tendrils hanging loose from my french rolled natural hair and I love it! I do not miss the burning scalp from touch-ups, I just condition, wash, let dry and go. If I want smooth (not often) I smooth with an ionic flat iron after drying. No turning back for me!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was relaxed my hair was a hassle to deal with. It took 2 hours to dry on High Heat with the Black rollers at the Hair Salon. It would be messed up by the third day, and smelly by the 5th, If I didn't have the money, I just had to keep on tugging with smelly hair for another week or two. I wore ponytails 24/5. The other two days my hair would try to stay down for me. Had I known how to take care of my relaxed hair, it would not have been such an issue.
ReplyDeleteAfter my BC, it was a breeze. Now that I have more hair (4inches), detangling is an issue, but not something new. At least now, I can wash my hair when I please.
Relaxer or not, my hair is still fussy. So I'll take the natural me. I mean, have you seen my waves?!?!?! They are spinnin'!!!
Hi I am 17 years old and I have decided to transition back to my natural hair. I am unintentionally 9 months or a year back into my natural hair. I say unintentionally because I was wearing wigs, just trying something new and hadn't relaxed my hair in that time. I noticed that my hair was getting longer and, thicker and actually growing, something it seemed to have stopped doing while relaxed. I was so happy to see my hair growing I decided not to relax my hair anymore. I used to have a full head of thick natural hair. But I went to a school with mostly mexicans and I thought they were so pretty with their straight black hair. I thought if I had a relaxer it would magiclly make me look like that! It got dry damaged and brittle and I never had those problems with my natural hair I just kept it well oiled and saw no breakage. It wasnt hard maintence for me because It stayed in braids and it was basically just get up and go, besides the once in a while hair day where it was take it down and braid it up again. Relaxed was a lot of work because I always wore weaves when it was relaxed.
ReplyDelete